two fests, angst and a poem...

well due to an unfortunate incident my band couldn't go to iim-c to perform...so 'catcher in the rye' might not be publicly performed for a long time to come...i did participate in the dramatics events there and won the first place in the impromptu event...but disappointingly we didn't get anything in the street play competition because the judge thought that we were too rigid and conventional in form to attract an audience in the street...my only misgiving was that the play that won was in english which is not a known language to a great number of people in the streets of india...well no use bitching now...had a great time in carpe diem though...and that is always the bottom line...enjoy...

spring fest was a big disappointment but i had the benefit of staying almost perpetually high which sort of made up for it...skinny alley was great...hullad muradabadi was better...i had a good time but this was the worst sf i've seen in my four years here...either it sucked or i've lost the excitement for it...

am currently disgusted with the kind of appreciation that mediocrity recieves all around me...shahrukh is the biggest star of india, ekta kapoor is a bigtime successful producer, emraan hashmi is the cat's pajamas currently, himesh reshammiya is giving hit after hit, more people liked euphoria and shankar mahadevan than skinny alley, people actually applauded a poem called 'bomb se uda do yaaron pakistan ko', the techno mix crappy versions of jal's aadat are more popular than the original, paheli was india's official entry for the oscars instead of hazaaron khwahishein aisi, someone actually told me that i sing very well...the list goes on and on...i'm sick of it...i'm totally sick of it...

but life still goes on...was recently inspired to write what follows...had been swirling in my head for a long time so i decided to finally give it form...



Brahmanandaam, Paramsukhdaam

dancing in ecstasy to the rhythm of life
in that frozen moment of exuberance
just you and me and the night sky
melting and flowing and becoming one
our bodies entwine, the dance continues
the dance of celebration, the dance of life
locked in embrace for all eternity
no time, no space, no thought in mind
no sound save the rhythm of silence
just you and me and the night sky
our bodies fuse in the dance of passion
you become me, i become you
just you and me and the night sky
just the rhythm and the dance
gar firdaus bar rue zamiast
hamiasto hamiasto hamiast...

carpe diem baby...

thnx for all the appreciation for my last post...to let the secret out, that poem is now lyrics to a song composed by my band...i'll be crooning 'catcher in the rye' in iim-c's cult fest carpe diem '06 along with some covers tonight...and hoping against hope that we'll make it through the prelims, again on saturday night...also doing a street play in the same fest on sunday...explains why i've been so busy ever since returning to kgp...gonna have a lotta fun over the weekend...more on carpe diem '06 later...

"here i am on the road again
there i am upon the stage
here i go being the star again
there i go, turn the page..."

carpe diem baby...

over the cliff...

felt really inspired by 'citr'('catcher in the rye' by j.d.salinger, for the ignorant)...came up with the following...
disclaimer:you might not understand what is being said if you haven't read the book.

ecstatic,euphoric...
running in gay abandon
through the rye field
never thinking of what was yet to come...
ebullient,exuberant...
running like a madman
living every moment of life
never thinking that this could end...
innocent,ignorant...
running right over
the edge of a crazy cliff
never knowing that this was the end...

where were you catcher in the rye?
why didn't you come to save me?
i believed you catcher in the rye
but i'm over the cliff already...

wish i could return
to that field of rye
and run again in innocence
with not a phony
thing in sight
not a hint of pretence...
but the lagoon gets icy and frozen
and the ducks have got to go
i'd like to break the ice and swim
but they just wont let me go
they make me play by rules they make
life being a game and all...
you said it was crazy but you'd do it
then why'd you let me fall?

where were you catcher in the rye?
why didn't you come to save me?
i believed you catcher in the rye
but i'm over the cliff already...

i don't like anything thats happening
i don't like a million things
i don't...
the lagoon is frozen and i want to go
flying away with the ducks
i won't...

i won't give up before getting started
i won't keep falling and falling...
i won't go on down and down
i'm not afraid of stopping...

i don't need you catcher in the rye,
i'm over the cliff already...
but i'll make my own field of rye
and then i won't miss everybody...

when she's gone...

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away

Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gonna stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away

And I know, I know...

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness everyday
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away...

therefore, i seek quietus...

someone by the name of 'bien a vous' left a comment on my earlier post quietus...i started replying,but then i thought that the reply would mean explaining my poem's central concept...so i am writing this post...
the comment was...
"u wander thru eternity seeking quietus ....
essaying escape.... from eternity ...
n ur own dark shadow ...
eternal life ... eternal youth ..
eternal thirst ... eternal knowledge ...
eternal unrest ... eternal quest ...
eternal solitude ... eternal peace ...
the only constant in an ephemeral cosmos ...
relinquish this power for an unknown mundane end ?
immortality a curse or immortality ur curse ??"

well said...
eternal youth? i beg to differ...youth is a state of mind where every experience is relatively new to you and you want to enjoy every aspect of life to its fullest...what after that? are you still young when you are not excited by anything life has to offer? when everything becomes ordinary and boring?
eternal knowledge? nobody on earth knows everything...even if we were to coalesce all human knowledge throughout history, we would still be left with many unanswered questions which would continuosly gnaw on the heart of the immortal...and haven't you heard, ignorance is bliss???
eternal quest? for what??? what are we all seeking? the answers to all the unanswered questions? god? a state of continuous existence?...the first two will never be found and the third is undesirable if they're not...and according to many schools of thought what every solitary soul is striving for is either a state of non-existence or union with the supreme, both of which involve destruction of the self...if that is true bliss then immortality is a curse...
eternal peace?there has never been peace in the world and there never will be...man has the constant need for an enemy, because the social structure needs an external threat so that it does not implode...in such a world full of morons and animals not fit to be called civilised, which soul can find peace? if you see people repeating their mistakes over and over without learning from history, how can you be at peace?
i know it is better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven, but it is better to serve in heaven or hell than to remain on this earth forever, even if you do rule it...therefore, i seek quietus...
by the way, let me clarify that the poem is not in my voice but in that of count dracula...immortality is definitely not my curse, though i would have loved to be a vampire...

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random thought...
i just want to get away from it all...go away to some remote corner of the earth for a few years...somewhere where nobody knows me, where modern technology still has a long way to go...where i can see the clear sky at night in all its splendour with not a human light in sight and hold my love gently as she goes off to sleep...