writer's block...

been wanting to write a post for a long time now...lack of time,energy and creativity have been stopping me...various times in the past few days i wanted to write about:
1.the aryan invasion theory debate...i have a lot of thoughts about it...too many to put down...
2.the symolism of the nataraj...i was blown totally over by all the symbolism that has been put into that one simple work of art that a large part of india calls god...
3.the symbolism of other religious art in india...our culture is just teeming with pieces of high art that any common man without an aesthetic sense would not even have looked at twice if they weren't gods...the shivalinga,the depiction of kali,ardhanarishwara,etc...
4.the greatest selling work of fiction ever...the holy bible...the fallacies in the revealed 'truth'...how christianity and judaism are no better than any 'pagan' religion...in fact much worse...
5.the wondrous world of 'alice in wonderland' and 'through the looking glass' and their myriad interpretations and relevance to the real world...
6.the movies i've seen recently...
7.how i've been going crazy,slowly...but surely...

still can't write anything...

losing my religion...

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

thoughts and actions...

another year passes me by...another milestone to be crossed...a score and two years(all right, one day less) spent on this earth as a part of this experiment in futility called life...this unquenched thirst for knowledge grows more and more as you try to satiate it...why do we have the powers of logic and reasoning when our only seeming purpose in life is to survive and propagate?...this endless game of life and death continues...happy(???) birthday to me in advance...

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participated in my first quiz as an adult on saturday...got the third prize...
also attended a theatre workshop during the weekend...learned a little about the elements of theatre and art...also reconfirmed my belief in my knowledge of bangla...i can comprehend almost completely now though i still find it difficult to speak fluently...hope to learn the script soon...
felt really nice when a theatre professional told me to try and keep doing dramatics throughout my life...refuelled my passion for dramatics...
have been really busy with preparations for illumination and rangoli competition(a unique tradition at iit-kgp) as diwali comes near...
been reading a little of the 'holy bible'...being surprised by the fact that people still consider it to be THE TRUTH...not allegorical, but literal!?!

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"'Twas brillig and the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
and the mome raths outgrabe."
- Lewis Carroll(from Jabberwocky in 'Through the looking glass')

i'm self centred and going to hell....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	High
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Very High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Low
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

mama i'm coming home...

after a long time of enduring mess food and getting frustrated in this village called kharagpur, i'm going home!...yes,today i've gone all the way from...
"there's a feeling i get,when i look to the west
and my spirit is crying for leaving..."
to...
"mama now i'm coming home,i'm not all you wished me be
mother's love for her son,spoken,help me be...
yeah,i took your love for granted and all the things you said to me
i need your love to comfort me"

on another note,doing 2 plays at the same time is not an easy job...especially if you play the lead role in both and write and direct one of them...phew!!!...it ends today...i'll be playing ebenezer scrooge in a production of 'christmas carol' today...yesterday i was satan in a self-written play titled 'murder at the station'...let's hope the play goes well and we win something in the competition...

will be back in 10 days...happy durga puja,vijaydashmi or whatever you wish to celebrate...

"Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain’t the same
Mama, I’m coming home"
"I could be right, I could be wrong
Hurts so bad, it’s been so long
Mama, I’m coming home"
"I don’t care about the sunshine, yeah
’cause mama, mama, I’m coming home
I’m coming home"...